CHALLENGE BEAKER

Come experience the vastness that is Beaker's stomach, men have wept in fear at its awesome capacity, restaurant owners quickly remove the 'All you can eat' sign when they hear him coming. See below the feats that Beaker has (or has not) completed and if you have a suitable suggestion, feel free to challenge beaker!

Suggestions:

• Spoon a jar of Saukraut down your scrawny neck within 90 seconds. (Steve from Paddock Wood)
• Eat 10 Mc Donalds hamburgers in 15 mins. I am sure this will be of great ease for the great beaker. (Anna from Paddock Wood)
• Eat as many of those "eye poppers" sweets as you can. (Gurps from Coventry)
• Eat a standard tub of vanilla ice cream It must be taken straight from the freezer, while its freezing cold. (Gurps from Coventry)
• 3 Bags of Sainsbury's Doughnuts (Rasperry flavour). (Mr Carl Prior Bsc, MD, AA, RAC from Birmingham)
• I challange you to eat a large haggis, beaks, feet 'n' all. this includes all trad trimmings such as neeps and tatties. The meal is to be cooked correctly so as to avoid rabies. This may need to be performed at an agreed location if a restaurant serving this delicacy can not be found. (The Evil Moxham - Elgin, Scotland)
• Eat a whole jar of lemon curd washed down with a jar of nutella chocolate spread. Bread can be used if required. (Rev Chris Moore - St Tibulus' Church from Birmingham)
• Eat over 200 pink shrimps and or flying saucers. (Madame Swish - Grantham)
• I feel that a jar of pickled walnuts would be a challenge. (Steve - Paddock Wood)
• I whole pack of minty sheets (MUST BE LISTERINE) one by one under the tongue in under 12 minutes. (Generalissimo Carlos - Otterville)
• eat 4 tins of pedigree dog meat beef flavour in 2 hours with no drinks apart from 200mls of pure imperial vodka (Terry - cannock)
• Eat 1 Pringle Crisp every five seconds for 3 minutes or more (as seen on "People's Records". (Heather - Stafford)
• Please enter your suggestion and click 'Send Suggestion' eat 10 pints of 'burton porter' at burton bridge pub. guess who?? (Kevin - guess)
• Have a go at this for lunch. Ten Mcdonalds cheeseburgers and a litre of coke. (Rev Chris Moore - The Church of St Tibulus - Birmingham) (Chris - Birmingham)
• I challenge you to spend a day miaowing like a cat or barking like a dog instead of saying the words yes and no. (Paul - Elgin)
• Will you eat a can of cold sardines? (Paul - Elgin)
• OK! Mr picky. I challenge you to eat a small jar of marmite in one hour without using anything other than your hands and mouth. (Paul - Elgin)
• I challenge you to eat a bag of dog biscuits. (Paul - Elgin)
• Do you think you can eat 4 bulls testicles? (Paul - Elgin)
• Sack of potatoes, approx 10kg, can be washed. (Anonymous)
• A whole block of lard (250g) on its own. You can take as long as you want. Rachel (Exeter) (Dr Rachel - Bexleyheath)
• gather all of the crumbs and debris from Dunni's work area and have that for lunch. (Paul - Elgin)
• Please enter your suggestion and click 'Send Suggestion' 20 bags of scampi and lemon nik naks-they stink! time limit about an hour in the pub.This is the tough bit-no drink with them until finished. What do you think? (Anonymous)
• Would you be capable of eating a scotch pie from each of the Scottish third division grounds? Very tasty, possible deadly. (Paul - Elgin)
• I would like to see how many carrots could be eaten in 10 mins..... (Jo - Nottingham)
• i suggest a picture of me on here u penis sucking anal dwelling butt monkey! guess who wrote this then eh?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Anonymous)

Challenges completed thus far:

• Too Much Fish : Consuming TWO battered fish portions and a large plate of chips. This was Beaker's most daunting challenge to date and although he struggled, he came through for the fans.
  
  
• Mmmm Chicken : Consuming a platter of chicken items ranging from popcorn chicken, chicken breast and a gorgeous chicken and bacon thing. Also forced to eat all of the salad and garnish that came with it. Beaker laughed off this challenge and even polished off a fine performance with a chocolate fudge brownie sundae.
  
  

• Sherbert Dip : Placing both sides of a swizelstick sherbet mix in mouth then added coke. This was deemed a let down due to the speed and ease at which Beaker completed the challenge.

• Once you pop, you can't stop! : Placing TEN packets of Sparx popping candy in mouth and letting it disolve. This was a problem due to the sheer volume, but after several minutes of moving the candy around the mouth, Beaker got it all in and lived up to his title of remorseless eating machine.
  
  

• The Pickled Onion Challenge : Eating a whole jar of pickled onions in under a minute. This challenge is virtually impossible and it actually took the great Beaker 5 minutes and 5 seconds to consume the lot. His first and, to date, his only failure.

• The foot and a half long Naan Bread challenge : On a night out for a curry with the lads, Beaker was challenged to eat a whole Naan bread with his Chicken Tikka Massala. Beaker immediately scoffed at this challenge untill he was informed that the Naan in question was over one foot in length. Despite the length, Beaker consumed the Naan and polished off his Tikka Massala. Lets hope this means a return to winning ways after his disappointing failure in the Pickled Onion challenge.
  
  

• The Haribo Sweep Stake : The next challenge was more of a guessing game than a challenge. People took bets on how many sour Haribo sweets Beaker could fit in his mouth. Sadly, no-one guessed the correct number of 27 although Mr D Wood (28) and Mr R De Candia (26) were the closest.

• The Water Melon Challenge : The challenge was to eat a whole water melon in under 20 minutes. This may sound easy although a water melon is ladden with pips. Beaker didn't fancy eating the pips and took too long removing them. Despite good work from Carl and Chris draining the melon when it filled with water, Beaker was unable to complete the challenge in the allotted time. Beaker wept.
  
  
• Marsh-Mellows Galore : Wanting to pick himself up after the disappointment of failing the Watermelon challenge, Beaker threw himself into the unknown and went for 2 packs (400g) of marsh-mellows in under 5 minutes. He failed miserably and only managed just over a pack in the allotted time. As such Beaker will not be accepting further speed challenges due to failing all so far. Instead will stick to sheer amounts in an attempt to return to his ganet-ous ways.
  
  
• One Nugget Too Far : Looking forward to taking a volume challenge, Beaker embarked on eating 49 Chicken McNuggets. He was doing well and ate 48 in just under an hour before heckling and pressure from colleagues pushed him too far and Beaker had to retreat to the toilet to purge. Not a complete failure, but still slightly disappointing not to keep it all in.
  
  
• The Gurps Bassi Challenge : Chopper's HAM Gurps Bassi challenged the great Beaker to an eating contest on the theme of chicken. The 10 piece KFC Bargain Bucket was chosen, although on arrival a mix up led to the challenge being a 14 piece bucket (including 4 packets of fries). Beaker managed all 14 pieces (with skin) and two packets of fries before the taste of cold KFC fries was too much to bare. Bassi could only manage 12 pieces (most without skin) and no fries - pussy! Beaker went on to play football a few hours later.