EMMA: QUEEN OF THE ZULUS

Date of Birth: 15/04/79 Home: Norwich Areas of Mockage: Lets just say the foolishness scale was set up to accurately document the actions of this young lady Areas of Merit: Shes good at cleaning bathrooms, and cooking (well she is female) Accomplished: Managing to be of both a Norfolk and a Yardy disposition at the same time Skills(non-female): Whinging, fast runner

Our Emma hasn't got many nicknames although Yardly was adopted after the lecturers got her name wrong in a practical once. Shes not easily embarrassed nor offended, however, she is very easily fooled. As mentioned above a foolishness scale was set up to document some of the things she got up to (scale of 1 to 10, 10 being very foolish). These things would usually include walking into doors or falling over/into things, not to mention saying foolish things. She also likes to document how many times our Chopper scratches/adjusts himself per day as well as comparing foolish scale averages with him. Once, she asked if anyone had a radio they could take outside in the most pathetic voice ever heard, and she has never been allowed to forget it. Neil and Diff once spiked her drink with whiskey which led to a night of foolishness, and a morning of illness and resentfulness towards Neil and Diff the following day. These are a few incidents from Emma's time at uni, and we, her friends are looking forward to some more. I would like to end by asking, what sort of a person goes out, spends £50 on clothes and then moans (s)he has no money left? Think about it.

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